Honey Milk and Food Porn

As I listen to the cacophony of my husband laying in all his manish glory snoring on the couch, I am hit with the unfairness of it all. I just watched him scarf down half a pound of spaghetti with clams in white sauce while I ate low sugar oatmeal and hot skim milk with an invisible drop of honey. He’s sleeping like a slim baby and I’m feeling guilty about not exercising for the past 2 days. Nothing is worse for weight loss than a cold – I have an actual legitimate reason to avoid the treadmill, and I want to feel better by eating chocolate and all things bready. Sure, some people say exercising with a cold will actually make you feel better. They are probably the same people who consistantly say no to whipped cream on their Starbucks and manage to really come through once they say “I’ve eaten enough of these,” after 4 Doritios. Those people fascinate me; they are magical like unicorns.

The only good thing about my current situation is that I have full access to food porn. Ahhh food porn, the salve for the chubby masses disguised as informative material on how to become a better cook. The hubby’s asleep and the controller is mine! Cooking Channel, Food Network, and Google images galore. So far, I’ve eagerly drooled over an undressed po’boy, watched breathlessly as a swordfish got filthy in marinade, and almost lost it when Man versed Milkshake. I know I acted like a sumo wrestler in training today (cereal, sleep, ham and mustard, sleep, honey milk, sleep…), but I really think my throat would feel better if I ate some cheese on a soft roll. Instead, I’ll have to satisfy myself with Internet images of stimulating, salty snacks and big, moist cupcakes. Maybe I should even head to bed myself – an Emeril specialty audience oooh, ahhhh, yeah!) may push me over the edge and into the real fridge. Does anyone else do this or am I the sad, dangling outlier on the eating bell curve?