Monday, January 31, 2011

Honey Milk and Food Porn


As I listen to the cacophony of my husband laying in all his manish glory snoring on the couch, I am hit with the unfairness of it all. I just watched him scarf down half a pound of spaghetti with clams in white sauce while I ate low sugar oatmeal and hot skim milk with an invisible drop of honey. He’s sleeping like a slim baby and I’m feeling guilty about not exercising for the past 2 days. Nothing is worse for weight loss than a cold – I have an actual legitimate reason to avoid the treadmill, and I want to feel better by eating chocolate and all things bready. Sure, some people say exercising with a cold will actually make you feel better. They are probably the same people who consistantly say no to whipped cream on their Starbucks and manage to really come through once they say “I’ve eaten enough of these,” after 4 Doritios. Those people fascinate me; they are magical like unicorns.



The only good thing about my current situation is that I have full access to food porn. Ahhh food porn, the salve for the chubby masses disguised as informative material on how to become a better cook. The hubby’s asleep and the controller is mine! Cooking Channel, Food Network, and Google images galore. So far, I’ve eagerly drooled over an undressed po’boy, watched breathlessly as a swordfish got filthy in marinade, and almost lost it when Man versed Milkshake. I know I acted like a sumo wrestler in training today (cereal, sleep, ham and mustard, sleep, honey milk, sleep…), but I really think my throat would feel better if I ate some cheese on a soft roll. Instead, I’ll have to satisfy myself with Internet images of stimulating, salty snacks and big, moist cupcakes. Maybe I should even head to bed myself – an Emeril specialty audience oooh, ahhhh, yeah!) may push me over the edge and into the real fridge. Does anyone else do this or am I the sad, dangling outlier on the eating bell curve?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Melissa, in my opinion crash diets are ok short term but eventually you will have to come off. When you do there is a chance you'll gain alot of it back. You need to make likestyle changes. Your husband needs to be part of that as well. Instead of clams in white sauce, you could have done grilled chicken spaghetti and both of you could have ate. I think one of the reason the Atkins diet worked for so many people, is the fact it's easier to stay on for long periods. There again, they do eventually come off. I look to try and mantain a high protein, low fat, low carb lifestyle. The big thing is finding things you enjoy yet are still somewhat healthy. Don't try and be someone else, only try and be a better you. What I mean is we all have different genetic make-ups. Don't compete against the person next to you in the gym. Think "what did I do last time I was in the gym, my goal is to do more this time." You may or may not make that goal every time, but thats what you shoot for. Its easy to look at really fit people and think "I'll never be like that". Just remember 'Baby steps'!

Anonymous said...

great mental imagery and story telling. Tell us more about "how" you will reach your goal. Do you go to a gym?

Jodie said...

Melissa, Don't cave into the Food Porn! Try to think of food as just the energy it takes to make your body work. Not as comfort food or anything else. Keep yourself busy to avoid eating out of boredom. You can do this... I have complete faith in you.

BTW, love your writing!! :)

Ms. Biondi said...

Great writing as usual! Made me smile. I always look forward to seeing what you'll come up with next!

Anonymous said...

Melissa: Every time I read your blog I feel like you're talking about me. Keep up the enthusiam. You'll get over the cold and be back on track. In the meantime, keep up your humor. I love it!

Gina M

Anonymous said...

If it's a head cold, moderate exercise is ok, and even recommended. The only time you really shouldn't exercise is if it's in your lungs/respiratory system.

Don't let a sore throat keep you down. The exercise will probably get you feeling back to normal faster!

Sugar Plum said...

Back away from the naughty food porn!!

Mandy said...

Hey Missy don't worry about your cold. When you feel better you can try to do a little extra to make up for it. Maybe instead of watching food porn you should watch something gross like Hoarders! Especially the one where the lady is a food hoarder. That should make you lose your appetite lol! Just kidding but seriously stick to it, you can do it!

Katherine Josh said...

Loquat is for cough and lung in Chinese medicine. Sometimes i would take the Ninjiom Pei Pa Koa which is an extract of loquat when got sore throat.

You can access info online @
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nin_Jiom_Pei_Pa_Koa
ninjiom.50webs.com