Monday, May 9, 2011

It's a Dog's Life After All

I took my two kids (I mean dogs) to the park today. As we walked around, I noticed how tired my black lab Diva was, huffing and puffing her way down the root-studded trail. Diva lost her svelte canine physique soon after she gave birth to six pups years ago, and as she gets up in years, her weight could use a little lightening. Despite her strict diet of fat girl dog food (for the lab who has more to love) and a measly 1.5 cups of food daily, Diva continues to fight the battle of the fur bulge. While my yellow lab Duke eats large dog biscuits and carries around rawhide chips instead of eating them, Baby D only gets to have small Shih Tzu-sized treats and a limited, no-sugar added Puppy Cup frozen snack intake of one every couple months (during which time she occasionally tries to eat the cup too because it’s just so good). Reduced to doing drive-by food nips from Duke’s overflowing bowl that he is much too busy and much too wiry to eat, Diva can’t get over her joy of food or how much it loves to hang on her.

I have always claimed Diva as my dog – she’s much more social and chill than Duke the Nervene and she lets anyone love on her. Now I realize Diva and I are similar in many other ways as well. Although I think I would probably lose more weight if someone limited me to 1.5 cups of lite chunks a day, I’m right there with Diva straining and panting and struggling. We both aren’t that great with weight loss, we walk slower, and we haven’t really found a way to get control over our food cravings - drive-bys are a hard habit to break (ask a gangster). On good days we celebrate our control and run with hair flying, but even though we are trying to do everything right, it’s a hard, slow-going road with lots of pitfalls along the way. The pure muscle, food-as-fuel Dukes of the world we are not; we have a hard time trying to be like that.

Occasionally, my great ideas do about as well as Diva's grand schemes (overturn the trash can and eat tinfoil - that would be a great way to greet my owners and wonderful for my digestive system!). I had no idea regarding what really need to be done to lose 80 pounds. In fact, looking back on my initial goal and even the decision to expose my weight issues leaves me thinking A) I actually experienced some sort of pipe dream or B) I unwittingly ingested an illegal substance that made me think I was queen of the world. With chagrin, I've decided to take a page out of Nancy's book and work a multi-year plan (30 pounds per year) to get to my ultimate goal. Believe me, I already can hear the taunts, but a re-evaluation and multiple, smaller goals does not a dead dog make. I'm now thinking less of a Great Dane to Chihuahua change and more of a Mastiff to Chow to Schnauzer rehaul.

So it's me and the D working our breeding. We're struggling, championing, and messing up, but we rally and even trot for curiosity’s sake. We’ll keep plugging along, taking our walks and doing the best we can. Our tails will never stop wagging, despite sometimes feeling blue, and we will always see everyone we meet as an opportunity to give and get some love.

Now we both need to be taken for a walk.


Anonymous said...

Maybe this is a good time to point out your blog is a roadmap for failure for other morbidly obese people who are considering losing weight. You did everything wrong from day one, despite a number of posts encouraging you and giving excellent suggestions.

Some things for others to avoid that you didn't:

1. unrealistic weight loss goal
2. failure to get a physical and see a nutritionist
3. unsupportive family. Every bender you mentioned was accompanied by your husband.
4. insufficient exercise program
5. continuing to eat out and allow yourself mutliple gorgings per week
6. weird acts of desperation (Biggest Loser audition and the infomercial diet book, which you never spoke about)

I also think it is incredibly insulting that you failed to stick to your program (in any way whatsoever) so you have "settled" for Nancy's program. She is doing everything right and sticking to her program. Simply wanting to lose less weight does not make it easier. It requires the same dedication and commitment.

I never understood why you didn't see a doctor. I think if you knew the ticking time bomb inside of you due to obesity you might have approached this with a lot more seriousness and a lot less silliness.

tigerblood said...

To are sweet, and I do wish you luck, but this has jumped the shark. Put a fork in it, for now.

At least you are still a cutie even though you are overweight!

Anonymous said...

Your dog is fat because she eats too much. You are fat because you eat too much. Time to get real.

Anonymous said...

In all seriousness (and I'm truly not trying to be mean) you should consider getting some counseling. You def need to get a physical and have doctor point you in the right direction (and learn some things that my give you the motivation to get healthy). But just like those people on the biggest loser tv show, you need to find the source of why you eat to excess. What is in your past (or present) that makes you find comfort in food? Start there and then you might find a path that will lead you to better health and weight loss.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous

If anyone should get some help, it is you. You are a mean, angry, and probably a very lonely person. Melissa, stop wasting your talents on these miserable people. Encouragement it what you needed, not criticism.

BB said...

I think you're doing the right thing switching over to Nancy's plan - she's got the right idea. Losing 80 lbs in a year sounds great at first, but when you really think about it, it becomes overwhelming and you start to believe it's too hard and you'll never get to your goal. At least, that's how it was for me. I had to think about my weight loss in 5 lb increments, so my goal was always just to lose 5 lbs. I just did it over and over until I met my goal, but I never let myself think about the total number. Your new goal of 30 lbs a year is much more doable - plus, haven't you already lost 10 or so? You're already a third of the way there, and you have plenty of time to make your goal by year end. Good luck, I'm pulling for you!

Anonymous said...

How is suggesting to someone to seek professional help being mean? Anyone undergoing major life altering changes should see their doctor first. It's recommended by most all in the health field.

Anonymous said...

Please shut down this blog. It is no longer of any value.

Anonymous said...

Read this article, twice.

This is your near-term future.

Anonymous said...

I hate to see you struggling like this for this long. Have you tried giving something up for 40 days, no ifs, ands, or buts. Give up eating out for 40 days (like many do during Lent), or give up red meat for 40 days, or alcohol, or fried food, or whatever it is that is hurting you the most. But in order to give that something up for 40 days, you're gonna have to be in the right mindset.
Good luck. We're still pulling for you.

Sugar Plum said...

Good luck on your new goal!