Things had been going good. Yes, I'm still struggling with getting in my exercise, but I was eating right and cut most sugar out of my diet. Then V-day came and my husband and I had our yearly dinner and a movie date. We go out more than once a year, but this was the first "big night" we've done since the blog started (holla for the married night out). I was excited - first time out to dinner in at least 3 weeks! No clean up or cooking - ahhhh. Unfortunately, that was where I went wrong - I didn't plan, and without a plan I was a fatastrophy waiting to happen.
On the ride to the restaurant, I thought of all the yummy things that I had been painstakingly trying not to think about the past few weeks - burgers, all things cheesy, and pie. My husband ordered fried mozzarella and my "one bite" turned into 2 pieces and a beer. I went with the steak salad (fairly decent choice), but ate the roll that came with it (butter!) and an added-on french onion soup (bad, bad me - so ashamed!).
Once the dam broke, I was like a crack-head in an unmanned drug store. For some unknown reason, I weighed myself for 25 cents outside the movie theater bathroom. The pimply kid waiting to take tickets eyed me curiously. I knew it was stupid to pay to weigh myself wearing jeans, a jacket, shoes, and a meal, in public no less, but I was destined to self-destruct and I knew seeing my weight would be the straw that broke the fat camel.
I sulked during the entire mind-numbing 3D movie we went to see and desperately focused on chocolate ice cream - a craving that was spurned on by the birthday party of kids that attended said movie with cake, ice cream, and balloons (damn pre-adolescents and their social functions). I was so fixated on ice cream that I achieved some sort of Jedi-mind trick because my unprovoked hubby suggested we treat ourselves to a Chic-Fil-A cup. I was out of control - I didn't even enjoy the fact that I had somehow made my husband want to do something without saying a word - a feat beyond belief! I succumbed to a chocolate shake. I'm not even going to pretend it wasn't good and I didn't love every suck of the straw. I was high on soft serve and I didn't care who saw me because it felt so good.
Now my high has been replaced with a low. I'm way down and trying to climb back on the wagon. The problem is that I tasted the promise land, and I'm noticing my portions today have been slightly larger than the usual. I've been looking at my changes as a good thing, but in the wake of the shake, I'm cursing change. I have a headache that I know would go away if I just ate some M & Ms washed down with Coke. Tomorrow's a new day, but old habits die hard and I'm worried that mine are like those birthday candles that won't blow out.
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41 comments:
In your blog over the past few weeks I have yet to see a single thing that shows readers you are seriously trying to make any sort of effort to lose weight or change your life. I was under the impression this blog was supposed to motivate you and others. It is clear you don't have the personal motivation or familiar support to alter your lifestyle.
Your stated goal was 80 pounds of weight loss by November. Assuming you have lost 5-10 pounds at this point you have to lose 70 pounds in 8 months. That means approx 2-3 pounds a week from here on out. That is a serious undertaking. What are you doing to make this happen?
Obviously Anonymous has never been on a diet. I found your blog amusing and understandable. I have been there Sister! Get back on the wagon. Try wearing a tight pair of jeans all day. That will help with the motivation. You can do it! one slip does not mean the end.
You need something on the near-term horizon and an intermediate goal. A party in a couple weeks? Try to lose 6 pounds or a dress size by then. Get the exercise in. It is the best thing. You will see results. Dont go to sleep without it. 6/7 days a week.
Acknowledge your slipup, forgive yourself and then move on. Stop acting like Charlie Sheen on a bender.
Missy,
Don't worry about messing up one day. You can get back on track now and try to undo the damage. At least now when you want to cheat you can think back to this and remember that it wasn't worth it! Oh and the public weigh in at the movies after eating a big dinner was NOT a good idea! lol
By the way I never got a chance to comment but I loved the blog about the sneaker store! I have been working out in sneakers I bought at the discount shoe store in the mall about two years ago... guess it's time for a new pair!
Why would you go on and on about buying nice shoes and then only talk about all you ate and nothing about your exercise routine? The train is off the tracks.
I think you are doing great, don't let anyone discourage you! As someone who also started a new diet/exercise program this year, I completely understand how difficult it is to break the old couch potato habits. I've also had plenty of setbacks (including a very similar Valentine's day one yesterday!), but we just have to keep trying. I packed a lunch and brought healthy snacks to work today, and had my husband hide the rest of the candy! I know you can do this! I've really enjoyed reading your blog - it's very funny and I completely relate. Thanks for putting yourself out there and sharing with us!
You think she is doing great? What is this based on exactly? There has been no mention of a physical, a meeting with a trainer, a nutritionist, or any weight loss. Instead we have been told about shoe shopping and a dinner out. Big whoop. Lots of fat people eat out and buy shoes.
Where is the sacrifice, the life changes. This blog is a joke.
Yes, I think she's doing great. My opinion is based on the fact that she's told us she's been going to the gym, she told us she's been trying to eat better and cut out sugar (with some setbacks, which are going to happen). It's not going to be an overnight transformation, bad habits take time to break. And if her blog was only about trainers and nutrition, it would be boring. She's trying to entertain us as well as share her weight loss efforts. It's tough enough to do this in private, much less in public with people being so negative about her efforts. I, and many others, enjoy her blog and wish her well.
What she's actually said is that she isn't going to the gym. Trying to eat better isn't the same thing as actually eating better.
This blog is allegedly about weight loss, not about lack of weight loss.
Oh, and it were about trainers and nutrition I would find it more interesting since it would indicate she is serious about this.
Here's my prediction based on where this blog is going (nowhere). In a few weeks she will declare she's happy with her body style and that is more important than being healthy, starving herself and going to a gym she hates. That will be followed by the "diets don't work for me me" and the "I'm just not athletic" excuse that signify the end of the experiment. I'll take bets on that right now.
Your comments are not helpful. This clearly isn't the blog for you. Please allow the rest of us to enjoy it.
Why, because he/she speaks the truth and holds people accountable for their alleged goals? One of the reasons, I assume, for going public, ON A NEWSPAPER WEBSITE, was for accountability. You don't like his/her comments, then skip them but they are truthful in regards to weight loss. And, you don't get to decide who reads or comments.
Mel, you have the most weight to lose plus you're the youngest so you should be the clear winner. Instead of a progress report on weight loss, this blog is more of "The biggest excuses" blog. The taste of food rules your life no different than any other substance abuser.
That Chick Fil A shake has 600 calories and 23 grams of fat. That is approximately the equivalent of one hour of moderate exercise, give or take. So, your decision to put junk food over health in essence cost you 1200 calories - the shake you ate and the hour of exercise your opted against. That is about 1/3 of a pound right there.
What you might want to think about the next time you decide to eat something like this is that in 5-10 years it will require you to check your blood sugar and then administer a shot of insulin. You are young and you think there are no consequences of being fat. The bell will toll very soon and you won't miss a shake one bit.
I love your writing style. Your post about the running shoes purchase made me laugh out loud. I admire you for making your struggle public. Go girl, you can do it!
It looks like folks want this to be a blog written by someone who is SERIOUS, COMMITTED and oh yeah, perfect. I don't know if any of the anonymous commentators are overweight or have struggled with weight loss. Often there really is a food addiction that goes along with being obese/overweight. I know that I struggle with emotional eating. If what you want to read about is someone who has a personal trainer and a nutritionist at their disposal, go read a celeb blog. This is about a normal woman and her normal weigh loss journey. I know I can relate, and I bet a lot of others can too. Thanks Melissa for writing about your set back and journey honestly and with humor. Those of us who have had to face the shame of the empty cookie box the day after know what you are going through! Good Luck!
Unemployed Birdie - you could not be more wrong if you tried. There are free and readily available resources for weight loss, nutrition and training. It takes very little time to find these resources. The web is filled with free ideas, plans, logs, programs, support groups, etc. Hiding behind excuses and making up tales about celebrities is 100% categorically wrong. There are dozens upon dozens of workout groups in the Charlotte metro area for newbies.
You talk about food addiction like there is no cure. There is a cure and the blogger refuses to take the first few basic steps to stop her addiction. You cannot change if you do not make a change. Going out to buy shoes or gorging at Chick Fil A is not a change. Stick to a topic you know, please.
Ouch! Someone anonymously called me out on the interwebs! I use thedailyplate.com to log my calories each day and keep track of my workouts at the Y. I'm not sure what I said that made you feel like attacking. Struggling with weight loss is a topic I know--a little too well! :-) I think if you want to encourage folks to join work out groups or running groups, you might not want to be so....well, mean. A lot of what you say is true--like needing to change habits and not make excuses, but you just come across as someone who enjoys being right and doesn't want to actually have a conversation about weight loss. Just a thought!
Melissa,
Don't let your husband sabotage you! He knows you want to lose weight, and he should have never mentioned Chick-Fil-A. I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose, but sometimes friends and relatives sabotage without realizing it.
Get back with your program and just remember how bad you felt after this little slip.
You can do it. (and don't let the negative comments get you down).
To all those hating on Melissa, shut up! The blog is chronicling her very real, very difficult journey to change her ENTIRE lifestyle. She writes with a candor and a voice that is both honest and funny. I'm sure we all have issues that we should deal with, but she, along with the other bloggers, has the courage to make it all public, which is very different from all the critics who hide behind their "anonymous" names.
WHAT HAS SHE CHANGED BESIDES HER SHOES? I have seen nothing about exercise changes, eating changes, lifestyle changes. This isn't a blog about weight loss, it's the ramblings of a fat woman who refuses to get serious about weight loss.
Weight loss is tough, hard, emotional, debilitating. When she comes to that conclusion this blog might get serious.
Once again, another brave "anonymous" critic.
Do not let a dinner, even once a week, get you down. IF you are exercising you CAN go out to dinner and eat the foods you love! I lost 20 lbs and we go out every couple of weeks. I have fries, pizza, hamburgers, pasta - whatever I want. Why, 1) I eat less of it than I would of in "the old days.". Not 4 pieces of pizza but 2 + a salad. 1/2 of a big bacon cheeseburger instead of the whole thing. 1/2 or less of whatever pasta portion they bring. 2) I am exercising every single day for 1 hour and I mean exercising. Out of breath, shaky when you are done exercise. If you do that you absolutely, positively can treat yourself from time to time without guilt. Guilt goes right to the gut. On the weeks I ate out, I lost a pound instead of two. But I knew it was going to keep me sane and it was also helping me change my life. It's not a diet - it is just the way I eat now. Good luck and don't let it get you down.
This was a great last post from Anom. Everything in moderation, yes you can enjoy food, and lose weight/keep it off if you exercise. I think people need to realize tht just because Meliss has not posted her every little move, everything she is doing in this journey, every ounce that she has lost, or exercise move she has taken, it does not mean she isn't doing something. The point of this blog is not to track each and every step she takes, it is not a weight lose journal. It is a blog to entertain. There are a lot of really harsh critics. I read every post today, and all I can say is WOW. I think Melissa's posts should entertain and be personal, and she should not censor herself for fear of being torn apart and scolded by anonyomous critics, if you don't like the blog read something else. Give helpful comments if you like. These comments have been mean back and forth to each other...Melissa knows what she has to do, she knows if she is over her ideal weight, she knows if she has a setback, and she is using some humor to tell HER story, she is not trying to write a self help book for others to follow. She is not trying to tell a super boring story either. I think some of the commentors need to chill out and enjoy some of her stories. Get off your high horses...Keep writing Meliss....and yes I assume I will get a bunch of ridiculous and critical comments to my post now. I hope you enjoy writing you negative nelleys you! I support you Meliss!
Jessica - I'm sorry but you are wrong. Here is what the blogger said in her initial post -
"So, I’ve declared 2011 the Year of the Khaki Slack and vowed to dedicate myself to losing weight before a friend’s November wedding. I’m aiming to get rid of 80 pounds or a large 5th grade student."
So, yes, this is a weight loss blog but has degenerated into a rambling blog about all the reasons she can't or won't buckle down.
I've lost weight. I know what it takes. It takes dedication. Sure, there are setbacks. You have them, you move on and move on quickly. You don't gorge on Sat night and again on Sunday. That isn't a set back. It is a glaring example of a person who hasn't committed to losing weight.
One poster talked about exercising to exhaustion 1 hour a day. That is exactly what it takes. Going to buy shoes is not exercise. So far the posters who are her toughest critics are the ones who have successfully lost weight. The ones who don't call her out for her lack of effort have admitted to being fat. Which group probably knows better?
To the last Anom...
The person who said he/she exercises for the hour til she is shakey also said she eats what she wants because it works for her.
It is whatever works for that individual.
And YES I did read Melissa blog from the start, yes she is trying to lose weight, I never said that wasn't her goal. I said that just because she doesn't write every little thing she is doing to lose the weight, it does not mean she isn't doing it. I believe she is trying to lose, and no she is not perfect, and like other people, no not every person, she has setbacks.
So you lost weight too, so have I, if you want to tell your whole story tell it, write a blog if you want.
I suppose everyone has a story to tell about something, I am not a good writer or storyteller, so I don't do it. I think Melissa is a good writer, "I" am enjoying her blog, as are others, if you are not don't read it. I think her shoe story was good and part of her weight loss, she is not going to work out in high heels, or shoes thatt give her blisters. I am glad she is telling her story, I might like your story too, write a blog and let others read and comment on it. People come off too preachy and too agressive in their comments, as I am sure I am here. I think that some of the comments are helpful and Melissa uses them in her efforts, but some are just negative, and critical with out really being constructive and not helpful at all, nor are they really enjoying to read, and that is what my original comment was about. I guess I just should read the Blog and not the comments because the comments in some cases ruin the blog for me. I will start that right now. I am sorry I contributed to what I didn't like about this blog. I will continue to read the blog but will trey to stay out of the comments.
My main problem with this blog is that it seems to obsessively focus on matters completely irrelevant to weight loss. This includes multiple paragraphs over food obsessions and shoe shopping. However, there has not been a single paragraph concerning nutritional change or exercise plans. To lose weight you have to have a combination of nutritional change and exercise, period, end of story.
The fluffy stories of binging and feeling weird in a shoe store are cute but don't get to the crux of the problem. That being, Melissa is a morbidly obese young woman who must lose weight.
Has she lost weight? Who knows. What has she modified in her diet? Who knows.
I'm all for her adventure but so far all I'm reading is a bunch of stories that are really irrelevant to a successful weight loss program.
All of you who are bashing this blogger should just read something else. She's doing what works for her. Maybe at the end of this journey she will surprise us all with a new picture and a more slender Melissa. She's doing what works for her. She's watching her food intake and trying to exercise. It's easy to bash someone when you don't know what a person has going on in their life. Give her a break or read something else. I guess if you're perfect you can tear down someone who isn't.
What is working? She hasn't posted anything but how much she is eating and isn't exercising. Maybe you know her personally but the rest of us don't see any progress.
I challenge "Anonymous" to detail something they are struggling with in their life and allow all the other anonymous people rip them, or tell them how to fix all his wrongs. I assume the negative anonymous is a he because I've known plenty of the "preppy" "uptight" "self-righteous" ahole bullies that he clearly comes across as being. Just something about his demeanor and writing style, and helps to be a profiler sometimes… I bet he works in the computer or technical field. There are many ways to say the same thing, and motivation doesn't have to come in the form of attacks. In the end, Melissa has to deal with her own decisions, her own actions, and if she fails, it falls on her, no one makes her eat certain foods, no one makes her be inactive, she will have to choose and do what is right for her. Maybe she'll reach her goal, maybe she won't, but that is all that it means, that she couldn't lose weight, that doesn't make her a horrible person, just overweight with an addiction that proved impossible to break. Any health ramifications involved she has to, as well as her loved ones deal with. Food addiction is real, same as with smoking, and drinking, or any other addictions that plague society. Though there should be more disdain towards the one that is abusing alcohol and or drugs and gets in a car putting innocent lives at risk than someone that just couldn't shake her craving for a shake...But then again, in this world there is no worse crime than being “fat” and every other addiction is quite acceptable...Good luck Melissa.
What a ridiculous rant. I suspect guiltfree is also fat. You can call it addiction or any other smoke screen to hide behind the lack of personal responsibility that leads a person to fatness.
As to you comment about being fat the "worst crime" that is patently absurd. Over half of Americans are obese or overweight and a third are morbidly obese, like the blogger. Apparently it isn't so shameful or bad if everyone is doing it. The current generation of Americans is on track to have shorter lifespans than their parents. That is a first in recorded human history. What is the culprit? OBESITY.
Obesity drives sky high medical costs which we all are forced to pay. It lowers productivity in the workforce by tens of billions of dollars due to obesity related illnesses.
Is a freaking Chick Fil A shake worth it? If you make healthy living a top priority you will reap benefits that your obese friends never will. I am absolutely tough on the blogger because she made the decision to take her weight public and there needs to be some serious straight talk on weight in America these days. A report came out today that said that 30% of Southerners get NO EXERCISE. That's pathetic.
I sure hope you don't smoke, drink, that you drive safely, practice abstinence if you aren't married and make sure that all your activities in life don't cause my insurance premiums to go higher...Seems you have a hatred toward "fat" and good luck on your quest...I'll be sure to send you Windex to your S. CLT glasshouse...
Calm down people. No one is bashing her. They are simply stating that she hasn't yet expressed anything that is working for her. And she admittedly doesn't work out (buying tennis shoes does not equal trying to work out). That's like buying a size 2 dress and willing yourself to fit into it. I think people are concerned that she isn't taking the right steps just yet and HASN'T found something that works for her. People are constantly giving her ways to help herself, but exericise and some foods are not part of what she's willing to do yet. I hope she gets there, but until she realizes that exercise has to be a part of getting healthy and fit, it will continue to be a lost cause. For everyone who says "aw that's OK, a cheat day is fine," that's really not of any help. It just reinforces giving into daily temptations and that's how you fall back into a pattern of bad health. The truth is, she has to have the willpower and the strength to do it, no one can do it for her. And that's not being mean or bashing her, it's just the truth.
Isolated cheat days are okay, just keep them very few and far in between until you meet your goal. I don't see the concern in people's condemnations, but then again, that is just my take, the only opinion that matters is how and what Melissa takes from HER blog. I just find it humorous and can picture that soapbox with that wagging finger!
guiltfree clearly knows nothing about weight loss. In one post she says food addiction is just like alcohol or drinking. Then she condones cheat days. Anyone who understands addiction knows that allowing yourself cheat days is the absolute worst way to beat an addiction. Does guiltfree walk around telling alcoholics it is ok to binge drink every now and again? How about a smoker? Is it ok to smoke a pack once a month?
Stop patting her on the back for her lack of focus. Pat her on the back and tell her to get at it. When she does get serious about weight loss this blog will no longer be some silly story about shoes and chocolate shakes. When you lose weight the focus is on the weight loss, not on the food.
You have to eat moron, you can't say you'll never have a sweet or a treat ever again...cigs and alcohol are totally different...what a douche!
Such a simplistic idiot...cheating doesn't equate binging, it means go ahead and have pizza, just not the whole thing! Go ahead and have ice cream, just not the whole carton, and not every day! You can reward yourself, just don't do it all the time...
Oh, guiltfree, shot down by your own words. When you actually know a thing or two about diet and exercise you can post again on this blog. Until then, please run along as you do not belong in an adult conversation concerned these topics.
Is it an addiction like alcohol and cigarettes like you said? Or, is it not like that just like you said? Too bad you can't keep your own story straight. Run along, if you can.
Hey stupid, it's a real addiction, just the items consumed aren't the same. Tell me, how many have been caught driving under the influence of chocolate or killed a guy on a bike in a hit and run because he had a burger too many? And yes, I can run, maybe not as fast as you would claim you do or I should, but there are other things that define me other than my athletic ability. So if anyone needs to STFU, it's you...You remind me so much of an atheist that I used to know, maybe you'll end up just like they did.
More people are killed annually by obesity related diseases and illnesses than alcohol or tobacco combined.
Further proof you continue to speak out of your backside on this topic.
STFU? Great, you really made a good point there.
yawn...
http://health.yahoo.net/experts/eatthis/7-desserts-fight-fat
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