Paunchy Poetry

In honor of my growing gym devotion and new knowledge of healthy carbs, I decided to express my thoughts in poetry.

Elliptical Haiku

Little man lit up

Cardio run spray it down

Smells like an old sack

Gymric - Limerick

There once was an oversized dame

Who thought working out was quite lame

She knew she was lazy

Changed and ignored the crazies

And now she is not quite the same

Ode to a Sports Bra

Thou dedicated booby-holder,

h

ow I relish your support.

Unlike any other molder,

y

ou make my buxom bosom quite a fort.

Though my maidens can be restless,

t

here is no denying thee.

And my uni-boob is priceless,

f

or it averts a saggy me.

Alas, your fabric could be sweeter

w

hen I wrangle you over head,

But my teats no longer teeter

and

my fun bags don't fall like lead.

With a far over-reaching passion,

my ta-tas turn up towards the sky;

You will always be in fashion,

frontage appreciates an admiring eye.

Dedicated and devoted,

such worth cannot be praised enough.

Otherwise bosoms would be toted

around the bottom with other stuff.

Carb Awakening

Bread

Starchy, sugar-inducing sustenance

Doughy-larder; digestible-vitality

Complex, energetic nutrition

Grain