Melissa Sykes:
My diet book is MIA. In lieu of my book review, I decided I will tell you a story...
My diet book is MIA. In lieu of my book review, I decided I will tell you a story...
Once upon a time, in a body born long, long ago, a pretty little Pound of Fat formed. At first the fat was cherished - tickled on belly of the baby, cooed over as bracelets of flesh, and pinched in the folds of the thighs. As baby girl grew and Little Girl formed, Pound of Fat was a companion along the way - waddling, walking, and running towards adolescence.
Somewhere around Kindergarten, Pound of Fat was no longer appreciated. Instead, Pound of Fat made Little Girl different from the toothpick legs and matchstick arms that skipped around the playground. At first, Little Girl didn't realize Pound of Fat was to blame. After all, Little Girl was smart, loved, and emotionally-sensitive to others. In fact, it was not until Little Girl and Neighbor Girl bought the same pink ruffled bikini that Pound of Fat suddenly burst forth as the scalding plague that Little Girl would learn to resent as the source of all that was wrong with her.
Days and nights, months and years passed, and Pound of Fat caused lots of tears, defeat, and self-hatred. Pound of Fat was not who Little Girl was but she carried it around nevertheless. Despite her efforts to overshadow her one uncontrollable monster, Pound of Fat never failed to remind Little Girl how to play the not-good-enough game. When Little Girl became Insecure Teenager, Pound of Fat reached his most powerful state.
But one day, Insecure Teenager emerged as College-Fem. A loss unlike any other prompted College-Fem to seek solace in Gymdom, Superficial Attention From Others, and The Mall. It was then that Pound of Fat was defeated by the all-powerful Elliptical, who was aided by her allies Frat Party, Nice Clothes, and Self-Obsessed. Together they forced Pound of Fat into Muscle submission and all was well in the land of Anatomy.
But unknown to all, Pound of Fat was simply hiding, waiting for the moment that he could return to regain control over Physique. And like a slow moving train, Pound of Fat crept away from Muscle and settled his constitution all around what had now become Finding Me. This time Pound of Fat had help when raining down his destruction and chaos - Life Changes, Marriage, and Career all worked together in negative ways to make Pound of Fat more powerful than ever.
With sadness, it must be said that to this day Pound of Fat reigns over all the surrounding lands including Figure, Form, and Fitness. Much heartache and damage has been done during Pound of Fat's dynasty, and his domain has expanded as he's gained power and presence. But in a small corner of Pound of Fat's kingdom, there is a place called Embodiment. It is there that Mind, Soul, and Spirit have started to form a plan to regain control of Little Girl, who has now become Best She Can. Though they fight alone and frequently meet with failures, Mind, Soul, and Spirit push forward with their quest, knowing one day they will celebrate joyously after forever prevailing over Pound of Fat. It is then that Health and Freedom will sprout forth with abundance and Life will bloom.
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32 comments:
You know what, you can take your little pity story elsewhere. It is utterly offensive. You call people who care about their health and weight the following:
Toothpick legs
Matchstick arms
Superficial
Frat Party
Nice Clothes
Self-Obsessed
Get over yourself. Being a healthy weight is not a character flaw simply because you are not a healthy weight. I know many wonderful fat and healthy weight people and their weight has very little to do with how I perceive them as people. Perhaps you should take this view.
I wonder if the personification of your obesity is an impediment to successful long term weight loss for you. It gives it an unnatural level of control and takes control away from you. Something to consider.
I can so relate to your story. I hope Mind, Soul & Spirit continue to push through despite what some of the anonymous haters say. Only those that have battled with their weight since childhood will understand how difficult it is.
And even if ONE person doesn't agree with the superficial comment in your story, society in general discriminates against those with weight issues.
People don't choose to be obese, something usually happens that causes them to reach for food as comfort. In some cases its the same as any other addiction. It would be good if folks would remember that and show a little compassion.
Melissa, Keep focused on the prize... great health and long life!! :) You can do this!! I believe in you.
People don't chose to be fat? What kind of bologna is that? You have a choice what you eat, how much you eat, how much you exercise. It is one of the few things you have 100% total control over.
Upwards of 50% of Americans are fat. At some point people need to stop whining about discrimination and compassion and take control of their lives.
If those of you posting unkind or hurtful comments actually knew or had met Melissa you would be ashamed of yourselves. She is the sweetest of people. Actually, you should be ashamed of yourselves anyway. No one deserves to here some of the things that are said in response to her blogs. For the record, I am now at a healthy weight. I run distance races, and do pretty well for an inexperienced runner. I am also 30 lbs lighter than I was 3 years ago. It isn't easy maintaining a healthy weight, but I do my best while trying to enjoy life. Enjoying life, rather than insulting other peoples' lives, is something some of the anonymous commenters on here should look into. Keep working hard Melissa. Take these comments, positive and negative, and turn them into motivation.
Stop whining and expecting a quick fix that you don't have to work for, like most modern Americans.
If you are serious about losing weight then get a small free app and learn how many calories it takes to upkeep your current body weight. The same app should be able to calculate how many calories you can eat per day in order to start burning fat.
Then start tracking your calorie intake each day and DO NOT go over the limit. This means that in order to feel full you will have to eat foods that are not high in calories such as those with high fat and sugar content. You will need to actually MAKE your food from fresh ingredients like vegetables and lean protein, not buy fast food or pre-processed microwave food. Also, cut out ALL carbs for at least 1 week if you really want to see a difference (no bread, rice, pasta).
On top of this, make time for exercise at least 3 days a week. This is actually not going to make you lose the weight...it just helps tone your body as you lose the fat from eating healthy.
You can obviously do much more than this, but at a minimum this is what you need to do if you want to start losing weight.
:(
Enough of you. Instead of sitting on your rear writing pity articles, go outside and run. ride a bike. do anything other than eat ice cream and complain. I simply cannot believe you're getting paid to write about yourself. GO OUTSIDE!!
How about if you don't like the blog, you just don't read it? It's appalling that someone shares their feelings on a topic and all other's want to do it rip them apart for it! If you want to give advice that is fine...but do you have to be so mean and condescending? And on the flip side think about how many of those toothpick leg girls in college are actually suffering from an eating disorder because of the pressure of society!
I will have to re-read the entry, at times I felt empathetic, but I just don't know anymore. As a once fatty-once skinny-fatty that is fighting back to get healthier and will battle this forever, I want to support Melissa, but like I said, will have to re-read her entry...
None of us are getting paid to write this blog. It's a completely volunteer effort.
why read this and say hurtful things. Walk a mile in anothers shoes, goodNESS. Maybe her struggle lets one more 'FAT' person know they aren't alone, and IT IS A STRUGGLE, and you do feel alone, secluded, insecure, overshadowed, and just bad about being different especially if it involves being 'FAT'. I don't give a flip if "50% of Americans are obese", people that have weight problems, no matter what side, feel alone in their struggle. Good for you, Melissa, for being brave enough to write this so publically.
PAID? Did I miss something?
Trust me, there are is no payment for sharing our stories. Personally, I do it to encourage others who share my pain, my struggles and my shame.
Even if we were getting paid, I cannot imagine how much they would have to pay to endure some of the negative comments that are freely posted in this and other blogs.
MTV has a great new campaign. If you wouldn't say it to the person's face, don't post it. I realize this might be a little too much light for some, but it would be a great place to start.
Persistance people; Not perfection.
Take the time to motivate. I realize sometimes it takes a firm kick in the behind, but let's do it with love and some compassion!
This is some good and fun writing. The criticism is so weird to me, and I'm a fitness-centered person myself. It's kind of like going to an AA meeting and ripping on people for sharing their stories or trying to gain insight.
Here is a little bit of enlightenment on what society's pressures do to people...
I am 35lbs over weight...I used to be 20lbs under weight because I had such a high metabolism I couldn't gain weight. Then I LOVED the weight I finally gained. But of course....I loved all the fatty food I was able to eat and not gain weight on...and that just did not change when my metabolism finally leveled out. Other than slowly loosing a few pounds for general health, I'm a happy person. I know who I am, and I am comfortable with my body being what it is. On the flip side...my sister is in college and is 5'3 and 120lbs. She has chosen to go into acting, and is successful at it. HOWEVER, the directors, producers, and agents all have asked her to loose 25lbs for TV and Broadway. Society's perception of 'beautiful people' have turned my sister into a dieting freak attempting to weight 95lbs so that she may succeed in the career she loves so much. It is causing stressful emotions to tear her up...on one hand she is so happy in her career field, and on the other she is miserable over what others are saying about her body.
My point is...skinny, fat, or in between...pressures of society are able to have an extremely negative effect. All those feelings posted above about struggle, seclusion, feeling alone....all true...even for my skinny sister.
I have read and read again...and there is the sense of pity party, but maybe that wasn't her intention...she has my support, but eventually this public therapy will equate to long term results...her issues are more than the battle of the bulge...
Nice post Kristen M...this is Melissa's blog, but others' incites are very helpful, and I do thank you for yours! Yes, society in general, but one's particular "society" also attempts to dictate what we do, how we dress, etc...Good luck to you and all the others that realize the weight we need to lose and can only try and do what works for us...
Very well written. I sympathize with your struggle, however you only have yourself to blame.
The good news is that you have lost the weight before, and know that you are capable. Some seem to just not try or put forth the patience and persistence to lose it. So, the positive here is that it can be done, you know it, and you have acheived it.
Although I sympathize with your struggle, I do not feel bad for you. You are the only one who has put yourself in this position, and you can fix it (if you really want to). You only have yourself to blame. You can either: 1)stay the way you are and simply pine about your state and blame others or 2) hit the gym again, rework your diet, and be strong! It's really up to you!
Take these words as encouragement, not as criticism. And know that while you may struggle with this, we all have our struggles. It's not you vs the "perfect" world. We all have our struggles. Those with character, strength, perserverence, and dedication are the ones who will conquer their struggles. It's really up to you who you want to be.
Well said Anon 1:45...winning
I thought your short story was lame (and someone needs to take the red ink pen to it). Sorry. And in the time it took to write, you could have been exercising.
harsh...
Some of you people don't have a clue. Its not as easy as you think. You've never had to struggle with the constant weight issue. I have fault it for years, and was a chunky child as Melissa describes. I've lost the weight, kept if off for a few years, gained it back...several times. I'm working on it again now. Thanks for posting, Melissa, I understand completely.
Correction above, I "fought" it for years... (trying to multi-task)
More power to you Melissa. I related completely to your analogy. The "haters" here are the ones who really hate themselves, and they know it.
I was a chubby child myself, but I never felt that people who were skinny or fit were self-obsessed and seekers of superficial attention. I assumed they had good genes or worked hard to maintain themselves. There is zero wrong with being proud of your appearance whether God-given or self-driven.
Some of my skinniest, most fit friends have also been the smartest, friendliest and most down to earth. You make it seem so black and white, that you can only be educationally and professionally successful if you aren't fit and attractive. I'm not implying that you are completely stereotyping fat and skinny people's intelligence and social acceptance solely on their weight and looks, but it seems your views are really skewed. Yes, your looks are generally the first thing someone notices, because unfortunately you can't know someone's personality by looking at them. But insecurities about yourself, whether they are based on weight or some other aspect of yourself, are what drive social acceptance. I had overweight friends that were the life of the party and skinny friends that felt awkward in social settings. There is no black and white, and it's ultimately up to you to determine how you let anything in your life affect you. It's totally cliche and much easier said than done, but you can only blame it on the media and society for so long.
Kids are cruel, but it's not just about weight. From your story it sounds like you were just as judgmental about skinny people and how they fulfilled themselves with frat parties and self-obsession. Maybe it's just that they put their insecurities about themselves aside to enjoy the college experience.
You become the same as anyone who has ever made you feel like an outcast because of your weight when you make others feel less because of how they lived their lives, skinny or not. They're just words to you because it's your story. But it's bullying to the person(s) you then categorize and stereotype with those words.
I continue to cheer you on as you struggle with this, because I've been through it, but it's so hard when in the same breath that you lament your struggles, you cast stones at those who are not like you. I'm hoping I just misunderstood your intentions, or maybe what I read wasn't really what you intended to convey. But as others have said, everyone has their insecurities, and everyone has different ways of dealing with them.
I am the first that coined the term "haters" if I remember clearly, and yes, some are harsh, like the ones who just say mean things to be mean, but some that are being accused of being "haters" just have a hard time relating to Melissa lately, maybe sometimes I too have a hard time, and I am battling weight issues myself! Keep your chin up and the portions modest, get active and keep pounding!
I think you are absolutely gorgeous......
Weight issues are not all about looks. Your long term (and short term) health are at risk. Diabetes, hypertension, damage to joints, etc. etc. If you have people in your life counting on you then you need to think about THEM. For me, that was motivation enough.
I like the little pound of fat story. I was a skinny little thing for a good part of my life, but life circumstances led me to find comfort in carbs. Experiencing everything that goes with being fat, including some undeserved resentment toward people with toothpick arms and legs, I understand the edginess of this post. I like it because it's real and honest. Anybody who wants to be critical should volunteer to put their name and their picture on a blog and leave themselves open to all the meanness people can come up with for a while.
You go Melissa!
Bonnie West
Way to go, Melissa! I probably would have criticized your blog long ago, because like Kristen M., I used to be teeny! Picked on once b/c I was bony and flat-chested, now I'm way overweight and dieting again.
For some people, eating right and exercise is a normal activity and a part of life. However, others learn behaviors as children that extend into their teen and adult years.
I, too, loved eating junk food b/c it tasted great, and I stayed skinny. Now that I can't do that anymore, I have to "shut off" the desire for "tasty" food ("tasty" is an opinion, yes). It's not that easy to shut off after decades of eating fatty stuff!
I applaud anyone who is trying to lose weight and/or accept themselves as they are. IT IS HARD WORK.
Missy,
As someone who has known you all of your life, this blog tore at my heart. All of these commentors who are so mean have absolutley no understanding what it took for you to write this particular story. As you well know Missy, we were raised to be good, truthful people, and most people cannot deal with it. Don't you ever change.
Aunt Lin
Here is to Mind, Soul, Spirit, for their quest to squelch Pound of Fat once and for all!!!
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