Obviously, my right side is way stronger than my left. Though I used both arms in my workout, I tried to raise my left hand to "scratch" my nose and felt a definite lag. Surprised?! Oh yeah, momma's got a brand new bag! After a rough patch following the Tennessee trip, I am back on track. I worked out twice since Monday and my fancy-smanchy scale says I am almost down 10 pounds. I know -- it's been a million weeks and I should have lost at least four watermelons by now. That said, I'm just happy to overcome the neurotic insecurity of thinking I am the fattest, most unfit person in the gym and everyone is staring at my totally fascinating ability to sweat gallons of moisture.
To be honest, I have to attribute most of my move-it mojo to Kristen and Marcia at the Y. I may have an intrinsic predisposition to do lots of things, but exercise is not yet a mastered motivation. Not only did Kristen text me Monday to remind me about "my homework," but Marcia also announced that I will start meeting with her to do some deeper exploration of my relationship with food - totally dependent dysfunction (duh).
During my last session with Kristen, we focused on lifting weights and using the machines that always intimidate me; the ones that only the true gymsies work out on as they listen to the iPods that are strapped to their fit upper arms. It was during this venture into the Magic Gymdom that I also discovered a freakish feature: when I start to push against the weight, I get this weird Elvis lip strain. I don't know if Kristen noticed. It started to distract me, but I buckled down and got serious. I didn't even worry that I'd get sweat marks in awkward, inappropriate areas. Everyone at the Y is so great anyway, that even if I had the sweat outline of boob-eyes and fat-roll-mouth, it wouldn't faze them.
I did have a mini-panic attack because I went to the gym instead of doing grades the day before parent night. Hell knows no fury like a parent and child who swear something turned in is not reflected on the progress report! But I ended up getting everything done and learned that sometimes I am going to have to force myself to put working out before working. I also realized that I am strong; the strength burning inside me no longer has to be focused solely on my dreams and goals. Instead, I'm beginning to uncover a physical strength that had been long-forgotten and hidden beneath the daily grind and comfortable blahness of life. Tickets to the gun show anyone?
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12 comments:
Yay Melissa :)
YAY Melissa!!! So glad to hear that you are having a great experience at the gym! YOU CAN DO IT!! I know you can! Amazing how our strength and confidence returns when we prove we can do something we once thought was unachievable. Keep up the great work!
Way to go Miss!! So very proud of you... I got up this morning and thought I wonder if there is a new blog post from Melissa today. It's the perfect reading for breakfast. Really happy to read that you are finding some enjoyment and are becoming comfortable in the gym. Keep up the good work!!
Way to go. 10 lbs! That's 10 BOXES of butter. You are funny, dry-witted and a great writer. That said, the little comments about how much you shoukd have lost - well they just stink - for you. You are being funny and being yourself but THAT is exactly the kind of funny/yourself talk that's kept you from making 10, 20, etc. If you are willing to write it - my bet is you are really feeling it. Sit down for 10 minutes - set a timer, it will feel like an eternity for someone as busy as you (and no, I am not being sarcastic)...really focus on the 10 lbs. It is a BIG deal. It is 10 BOXES OF BUTTER OFF YOUR ARTERIES, OFF YOUR HIPS, OFF YOUR STOMACH, OFF OF EVERYTHING! Tell yourself it isn't like last time because it ISN'T! Look at you. You've lost 10 boxes of butter (I am repeating for a reason) and you had a crappy experience in TN, ate too much during and after and CAME BACK AND GOT BACK TO BUSINESS. Anonymous always talks about skipping goals and "just changing your lifestyle" - ha! It's setting short term goals (like one day) and small changes in behavior that create lifestyle changes and I'd you are a food addicted person like I am, it will be a struggle almost everyday. I am down 52 lbs from my high. 25 since August and it's still hard not to stuff my face with a box of Entemann's Donut Holes, Duncan Hines canned frosting or Haggen Daz Pralines and Cream but one day at a time I exercise and don't eat crap. You and Nancy are both beautiful women who WILL succeed. You go!
YOU CAN DO IT!! this should be the attitude.
I'm so sick of reading about this person's alleged food addiction. To the blogger, don't listen to that garbage. It is a crutch and an excuse to explain away obesity. You are finally on the right track and don't need someone putting an addiction monkey on your back.
I guess if you are fat you have to have an addiction. Maybe I have an air addiction since I like to breathe so much of it, whenever I want.
Yay! 10 lbs! Keep it up! This blog had me cracking up today between the elvis lip and the sweat boob eyes and mouth lol! I'm proud of you and love ya:)
Yeah Missy!! Actually I think I've seen that Elvis lip on you. At least it's an Elvis lip with 10 pounds less on it. Keep up the good work. You crack me up
To anonymous there is such a thing as a food addiction. In actuality people develop sugar addictions from eating too much of it and then your body stops producing insulin, and then when that happens you're body thinks it's not getting enough sugar and therefore makes you think you need more sugar. Plus when you get into a habit of using food as comfort etc then it's a hard thing to break, kind of like someone who drinks alcohol for comfort... it becomes a horrible habit that you can't live without. It's like saying adrenaline or making yourself puke every time you binge can't be an addiction. Don't belittle other people's struggles especially if you've never been through the same ones, and if you have been through them then shame on you for lacking the empathy you should have.
Jackie P - I happen to know a great deal about diabetes and you are so patently and absurdly wrong. Eating a lot of sugar does not in the least cause diabetes. Further you need to understand the different types of diabetes. There is no such thing as "diabetes." There is type 1 and type 2 and an emerging pre-diabetes.
Stop trying to diagnose the blogger with some hocum pocum addiction. Everyone on the planet uses food as comfort. Ever hear the term "comfort food?" Unless you are an addiction MD or specialist, you should not be doling out addiction diagnoses on this site.
Maybe you people who pat these people on the back are being enablers. Quit giving every problem in this world a label. How about showing a little tough love and telling this person to suck it up and get going. It's about discipline.
Yea Missy,
I am so proud of you! Forget anyone's nasty remarks and just continue at your pace. Oh, like mom said, that Elvis lip surfaced when you were a baby. It really looked cool on a three year old!
You are Hysterical...
Love,
Aunt Lin
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