You can blame ANONYMOUS' words and the tone that was conveyed in his/her post. You can blame society's attempts to make people who are different feel inferior. You can blame the continued negative posts that Melissa, Dan and I the "obese crew" must endure as a part of our weight-loss blogs and journeys.
It doesn't matter who or what you blame, but in my response to ANONYMOUS March 9th 8:34am's post suggesting that it's easy to lose weight that I should quit "talking about it," I allowed myself a Charlie Sheen-like rant. This was inappropriate.
Many of you have stated that I was WELL within my rights in my response to this post. I appreciate all of your support. It's so easy to get sucked into the negative cesspool. However, in whatever I do I must answer to: God, myself, and my daughter, Brittany. The latter was not pleased by my response. In Brittany's words, "I had become one of them -- a bully." In a way, she was right.
My daughter is the reason I am doing this blog. Earlier this year she shared her weight struggles in a news article in hopes to encourage others like her – those who are different. Brittany has endured much ridicule from kids because of her size. These kids don’t see a kid who loves music, plays several instruments, loves animals, and is one of the most compassionate people God has put on this earth. Most don't see these great attributes when they look at her. Why? They can't get past her size.
So when Brittany looked at me and said that I was wrong and that I should apologize to ANONYMOUS, I listened.
To the person named "ANONYMOUS March 9th 8:34am", I apologize for my choice of words in responding to your post. Everyone has a right to have and to state their opinion to a public blog. Thankfully, I am not doing this blog for you or any of the other negative people. Last week, I forgot this very important fact. Thank you Brittany for reminding me on why i signed up for this gig. to educate, to motivate and to encourage. .
As said by the author Robert Pirsig, "The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." This is my goal for my future posts -- to share my journey towards a healthier future. I hope you all enjoy the ride.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Posts
31 comments:
Three people took a leap of faith to share their weight loss struggles with the world. (Yes, there are other countries reading)
It appears that there are more "fit" people who type comments. Unfortunately, there are a few that are not so supportive. :)
If you have ever struggled with your weight or love someone who has, post a short comment in today's blog and ask your Facebook friends to do so as well. http://cltbiggestlosers.blogspot.com/2011/03/charlie-sheen-i-am-not.html.
The "obese crew" could use your support.
Thank you
it does not matter what you write. actions speak louder than words. somehow it clearly appears that due to faults other than genetics (and perhaps that too), your family is morbidly overweight. it took years to get this way, years of neglect, neglect in what you ate, neglect in stalled metabolism. close your mouth, get up off the couch. it's alright to share your 'trials and tribulations'. matter of fact there are television shows of people who lost a lot of weight in 100 days, without the surgery. but you don't certainly were a 'bully' and you absolutely do no get to complain that others see you in this light.
OK, ANON 8:24 is awake. What a way to start the day. It really must be great to know-it-all and get your jollies making deregatory comments ANONYMOUSLY. What's wrong, are you too scared to share your name?
Hmmm. I wonder why. What are you hiding?
What a great kid!
As I've grown older, I've found (as many have) weight control more difficult. Part of the problem for me was understanding what individual issues I have that contribute to weight gain.
After research and reluctant trips to the doctor, I started to get a clue. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, type-2 diabetes and high cholesterol. My triglycerides were over 900.
I won't go into the details after that, but the light went on for me after reading an article about blood glucose levels and their affect on your metabolism and how your body stores calories. The upshot is, keep your blood sugar levels below 120 and your body will take care of itself.
To accomplish this, I elimnated sugar and wheat. Believe it or not, these are the two biggest culprits that will raise your blood glucose levels and kill your fat burning engine.
I started my own program in October of last year. My trips to the gym were minimal (although I'm going more now), but I managed to lose more than 20 pounds in just over three weeks by simply eliminating wheat and sugar. Since then, I've lost an additional five pounds. My latest results from the doctor show my triglycerides just over 150 and total cholesterol at 192. I'm still on metformin, but that may go away soon. The only "medication" I'm taking now is fish oil and vitamin D supplements.
My overall point is, find out why your body is malfunctioning and you'll have a better understanding towards how to fix it.
Nancy, the first commenter provides all the evidence needed that your "Charlie Sheen moment" was neither inappropriate nor bullying. Brittany is a very compassionate soul, so I understand where she's coming from, but let's consider the bigger picture. People that get their rocks off belittling other people and being coward enough to do it anonymously need to be put in their place from time to time.
It is appropriate to make the content of your posts positive, encouraging and informative. But once someone jumps into the comments section and posts some of the trash people have been posting in the comments section of this blog, it is more than appropriate to call them out. You didn't owe that coward an apology at all.
Keep sharing your struggles and successes, and keep encouraging those fighting the weight battle to stay in the fight. And when the comments start rolling in, don't be afraid to call a spade, a spade. Or in this case, don't be afraid to call an @$$, an @$$.
James Edgar
(Anon cowards, THAT'S how it's done.)
I know what it is to have a weight problem....I spent part of my life severely underweight. Now, ironically, I battle with a persistent beer belly.
I like to see fat people walking around. I can compete more effectively against fat people for job.
I enjoy all the blog entries and admire you all for sharing your journey. I do not know anyone who has not struggled with some aspect of living a healthy life. Hang in there and good luck!
I am one of the anonymous commenters but not THE anonymous commenters.
While I appreciate the bloggers apology and know it took some turning of the other cheeks, she missed the point.
The blogger made the decision to discuss her morbid obesity on the web. Obesity is a charged topic.
If she was under the illusion that people would all flock to her side and tell her she's doing great she was wrong. I am of the opinion that the people around obese people are largely to blame for enabling the path to obesity. Straight blunt talk is needed. Some respond to it, others don't. But, the blogger better get used to the arrows flying.
From what I've read two out of the three bloggers are doing a good job, Nancy J included. Stay on the path and be prepared for a lot of grief if you stray.
Nancy, I hope you know that the nasty comments of a few don't reflect the feelings of most. Weight loss can be difficult, and most probably don't know what it's like to struggle with it. I admitedly don't really know how hard it is, but I am happy that you are setting goals for yourself and seem to be working towards it. I hope others that are struggling with it take your lead and run with it to become healthier as well.
ANON 9:33, you have GOT to be kidding! Are you really equating your underweight struggles with those that overweight people face.
You bring up a very serious point -- discrimination. Overweight, "fat", people face discrimination EVERYWHERE -- at work, at schools, on planes, ... Etc.
But I can ensure you that the brain in my FAT head can outperform your primitive one, anyplace, anytime, and anywhere. So go ahead and label overweight people all you want. There are more of us than you think.
I just hope you wake up and realize that people are people, no matter the race, creed, or size.
My Granddaddy used to say, "Any jacka$$ can tear DOWN a barn."
To attack anonymously is one of the lowest forms of cowardice.
I challenge you to be the man, woman, or transgendered individual you are and own your words. Otherwise, you're just an Annoyingmoose.
I don't get what the big fuss is about. Anonymous is right, it's calories in vs. calories out and not rocket science. If you are truly devoted to something, then you can and will make it happen. Just get to it!
The best advice I have is that you need to make your workouts and your exercise fun, and something you enjoy. If you don't enjoy riding on a spin cycle or running on a treadmill, you'll never stay committed to it long term. I personally love to lift weight and the challenge of it, but if you don't then do something you do like. Go get a pair of rollerblades. Rollerblading is actually one of the best forms of exercise. Or go swimming, a form of exercise that will truly utilize EVERY muscle in your body. Go play soccer, basketball, volleyball, hopskotch, tennis, or whatever, just make it enjoyable!
CheeringUon said there are "more of us [fatties] than you think." I laughed out loud. How can we avoid seeing all the tubbers these days? Something like one third to one half of Americans are obese. Been to Disney or Concord Mills lately? It is like an obesity convention and round-up.
And, you have a lot of nerve attacking a person who has struggled on the opposite end of the weight spectrum. You act like being fat is a protected class. Discrimination, hah! That is ludicrous. You can help being fat. It's a choice. Get over your tubby self.
Hey Nancy,
I try to stay out of the fray when there are so many comments flying on either side.
Some are too rude to even get your mind around.
So I tend to stay out. I would like to think there are more out there like me than like those who you responded to.
Silence is very condoning and we should speak up more.
But if you could imagine thousands of readers of your blog who are rooting for you in silence, please know we HATE what these people say and absolutely do not agree, and are behind you and with you on this brave, public journey you've chosen.
Best of luck!!
Keep on going, Nancy! You are awesome! This is about being an example for your child, your family, and the broader community. If losing weight were so easy, everyone would do it. It is not. I can't wait to hear about the sense of accomplishment once you hit your goals. Many warm vibrations to you.
Forget the rude people and focus on the helpful comments.
And, to your sweet-souled daughter, there is a place and time to stick up for yourself. Your mom did go a little overboard (dieting makes you a little evil at times), but you do not have to let blatant rudeness go unrequited. She had every right to respond.
It is devastating to watch a debate between people who think they can judge a person regardless of size. I have hastily judged those smaller than me for their minute weight struggles. Thinking back, however, I wish I had paid such close attention to amounts that small. They add up. I also remember a woman wasting away because she couldn't eat enough to keep the weight on. Weight is a universal problem - everyone has it. How each person struggles with it is their individual choice, and should not be judged without knowing the full story.
Keep your head up, girl. You just happened hit a nerve with that person.
I can't take it any more. I work out 5-6 times a week, don't have nearly the weight struggles these folks do, and have nothing but admiration for what they are doing. Every time I read some cheap shot comment all I can think is how poorly it reflects on the commenter. Hmmm- - people publicly and honestly discussing the most difficult self-improvement project they have ever undertaken (with good humor and good writing no less). I cannot imagine anything less worthy of criticism. My mental image of the place these comments come from is someone in the midst of a 48 hour meth binge sitting in a dark apartment with the shades drawn.
You know what is quite telling is how people who don't like the blunt comments have resorted to calling the direct posters the following:
1. Meth heads
2. STD carriers
3. Bad parents
4. Encouraging of pre marital child bearing
5. Alcoholics
Just because a person feels very strongly about health and fitness does not make them a substance abuser or a bad parent.
For those of us that have taken the time and devoted the energy to a healthy lifestyle we feel very strongly about it. Why we are supposed to side step the perils of obesity and fawn all over the bloggers simply because they are fat and blogging about it is well beyond me.
I too feel strongly about health and fitness. I suspect most of the encouraging commenters do as well. But what that has to do with the personality defect you have that manifests itself in your comments is beyond me. There is nothing in these blog posts that suggests any of the writers expect you to fawn over anything. I think most readers understand that Nancy J's reaction was to your mean-spiritedness. That some enjoy sending a little mean-spiritedness back in your direction should not surprise you either. You richly deserve it.
So, anyone who calls a fat person fat is subject to being called a meth head? The blogger has stated a number of times she is fat. Can we not call people fat anymore?
In addition to personal and economic impacts of obesity, consider this:
Weight gain by Americans since 1960 now causes us to consume an additional 938 million gallons of gasoline per year.
Using $3.50/gallon right now, that is $3.2 billion in unnecessary costs.
The bloggers also have other characteristics that have other phrases. Would you be so free at using some of those words as you are at using FAT?
Would you be so quick to demean someone struggling with drugs, cigarettes, or alcohol?
Is EVERYONE in your family PERFECT? If so, perhaps you should become Oprah's replacement. You seem to have all of the answers.
I am not the "ANONYMOUS". I want to let you know that People take different approaches to weight loss. I commend you for taking action and taking a turn for a healthier life style. Everyone looks for support in different ways. Somtimes you need that extra motivation. I do not think that anyone should be negative on here. Someone is here looking for support with a life style change. This is very difficult. I am very active and not overweight but I respect people. I am willing to read and support anyone who would like to make a life change. You keep working hard and do what you need to do. You have my support!!! You go girl!!
The bloggers may or may not have other characteristics that are appealing. But, this is a blog about weight loss.
If the blog were about quitting drugs, alcohol or smokes I'd probably be even harder. I think it is proven in cases of substance abuse that direct blunt intervention is the most effective.
I think one thing you have to keep in mind is that not everyone is pulling for you.
nothing personal it's just that if you are successful it makes them look bad for failing
Try to quit smoking and have all of your friends who still smoke act like its some kind of betrayal, that's fun.
just my $0.02
I think you are being a little thin skinned in this. Not to be harsh but you've put yourself in this position. You should have been slightly prepared for it. I am not here to bash you but to tell you that you have the ability to get the job done. Each one of us has it within us. But unfortunately over 50% of north carolinians are obese. That's an alarming statistic. Healthy living requires doing things differently. But like those in recovery, it generally requires most people to it rock bottom before they can start to climb out. I was fortunate in that my bottom was not as deep as some. I lost the weight and kept it off. You can do it. But you REALLY have to want it. Do you? (p.s. Not all Anonymous' are the same)
5 years ago I hit my highest weight. I was not really big but was 30 pounds over a good weight and 45 pounds over a weight that was appropriate for competing in athletic events I enjoy. But, the turning point for me was some of the minor, yet annoying, things that came with those extra pounds - heartburn daily and being sore after very small outbursts of energy with my kids.
I got real and serious and it was really hard for a month before it became a habit. The weight came off and has stayed off and I'll never go back. It takes determination and some pretty big changes in your life. It also takes support form those around you.
I hope you are able to achieve your goals.
It is my belief that you get farther with kind words than evil ones.
With that in mind, Nancy, I am here to support you (and Melissa & Dan). Like most other people posting comments, I may also suggest tips that I have found helpful. However I will always ALWAYS be compassionate and do everything in my power not to hurt anyones feelings.
Like I said to Melissa. STAY POSITIVE, plan your workouts and your meals and I know you can do it!! Journaling your consumption helps alot too!
America is inundated with junk food, very cheap fast food, unhealthy but enticing items at the grocery store, and an overabundance of food commercials. Read "Eat This Not That" and "Eat Clea Diet" books and see how unhealthy alot of what's offered out there actually is. Many people in their 30's and older were raised to clean their plate, drink soda with meals, and have daily desserts and multiple snacks. So much "diet" food, low-fat, fat-free, etc is actually fake food - chemicals, dyes, preservatives, added sugars. I come from a family of huge Europeans (300-400 lbs the norm) who equate food with love and caring. I lost alot of weight with basically no effort and NO hunger pangs at all by doing this: I stay active daily to burn more calories than I consume - not working out or at a gym, I do yoga, walking and housework; I do not drink my calories, such as fancy coffee drinks, soda or liquor; and I COOK. Yes, we prepare all our meals. I work full time but plan our grocery shopping. We are lacto-vegetarians, eat beans, whole grains and brown rice; limit cheeses, full fat milk products and sodium; and eat fresh vegetables daily. Olive oil, olives, nuts and avocados are our fat intake. Fresh herbs, Asian and Indian spices, homemade pizzas, Mexican, Italian, slow cooker stews, soups, fruit smoothies (no added sweetener)...All of it can be done at home with little effort - just plan ahead. Recipes are on the internet for you to find and use!
BTW....Bob and Jillian aren't always nice to their trainees. They praise them when they do well but they yell and scream at them when they are underachieving! It's tough love. lol
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